Van's Social stuff: I really feel like my head is going to explode. I don't know how to process this and that doesn't mean send me a private message telling me that you understand me and how you and your black friend "talked about this stuff all the time. White people can be so unaware." I am tired of whitesplaining, and microaggressions, and ignorance and subject changing and people dying. I am tired of all of it but mostly I am scared. I am scared that because I am such an emotional person that I might just stop feeling, because you know what? That seems like the only thing left to do.